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The question you are addressing in your Admission Essay Personal Statement essay is to show why you are a suitable student for a particular College or Grad School should grant you admission to one of their academic courses.
If you were given some prompt ideas by the college you need to use them as a starting point for your essay.
To achieve your main persuasive purpose you need to avoid irrelevant ideas and say why you should be a student at that particular institution and not for some other college.
You can help your essay purpose if you mention what you have to offer the college in terms of sports and extra curricular activities. Always be honest about what you write.
Scientific reports and research papers often use passive voice sentence construction to remove the personality of the scientist from the writing but college Admissions staff want to know about you and whether you are a suitable candidate for their institution, so use the active voice and allow I want … I did … I experienced …
When you use your own style of writing your personality is carried in the writing. An academic tutor can ‘hear’ the different student voices when s/he reads their essay writing. Each essay reads the way the students speak in class and that’s what the admissions officer wants to ‘hear’ from your personal statement essay.
Your personal ‘voice’ in your writing is one very good reason why you should never buy a personal statement essay from custom writing service.
I don’t mean that you should use colloquial speech or slang words but you should write in a natural way that will help to show your personality. To do this consider using a short personal experience you have had to illustrate your thoughts.
More than one illustration will be an overkill and may disrupt the essay focus.
The ‘overkill’ in the last sentence brings images of war and violence. Words with strong associations with violent behaviour will not help your attempt to enter academic study.
Take care to avoid unwanted connotations and avoid colloquial phrases such as, ‘Hi, I wanna tell you about …’, or words from non-English languages if you are applying to an English medium institution.
Personal statement admission essays are short so avoid the use of Latin words and the long relatively meaningless sentences that consume many of your available words but which convey almost no new or useful meaning.
Your aim is to keep your sentences short, meaningful, and focused so that last long sentence (31 words) could be simplified as, ‘Avoid verbosity and Latinisms’ (4 words).